Pregnancy Planning

Dear Child of Mine,

First off: WOOOHOOO!

Yes, I still haven't got out of that mood. I can't believe we've turned that corner. Things have moved up a gear here, and Papa is quite happily chatting about your arrival. Blooming heck. Yes, there's the whole business of getting pregnant, and actually having a healthy pregnancy, labour and delivery, but first thing's first. I am now actively trying to conceive (hereafter known as TTC). Bloody hell.  Woohoo!

I'll be honest, there is only one way that I deal with new challenges in life: I read. And so, true to form, I am spending my days browsing websites and downloading sample books to my Kindle. I've read about pregnancy in the over 35s, pregnancy in women with ME / CFS / CFIDS, pregnancy in general, how to conceive and how to boost your fertility. I've looked for information about successfully adding a third baby to one's little brood, and have been unsuccessful in finding anything good. I'm currently reading something about acupuncture for fertility. I have not yet felt the need to read anything in its entirety, I'm hopping about like a bunny on speed. But I am gaining and filing away information - most of it probably completely irrelevant and unusable, but it helps me to feel in control. And I am starting to get used to the idea. I still have moments when I feel like going SQUEEEEEEE! and others when I am scared. I still wake up first thing and my second or third thought of the day is "fucking hell, I'm actually likely to have another baby soon." Then I think "hooray" and "bollocks" in equal measure...

Today I started taking pre-conception multivitamins. Folic acid is very important. I had intended to only buy FA supplements, and be very cool about the whole thing. Then I read somewhere that overweight women need to take more than skinny women. I can't find any real evidence about this, so I started to look at other supplements to be on the safe side. That was the start of a slippery slope.

My head said "women get pregnant all the time without taking pre-conception supplements. You even know several of them. Their babies have been perfectly OK. Just take folic acid." Suddenly, before I knew it, I was looking at the Gold Star of pregnancy vitamins, lovingly handcrafted* by Zita West. OK, maybe not handcrafted, but one assumes she does something special to justify the extortionate prices.

By now, however, my middle class Spidey senses were tingling. So these pre-conception vitamins are the most refined, nutritious of all pre-conception vitamins, are they? So what if it costs £35.00 for a month's worth of those suckers, who am I to deny my precious baby-in-waiting the goodness that you need to make your way into the world? Surely, if I am going to bother at all, these lovingly packaged little beauties are the way to go? With their sophisticated bottles, their easy-to-understand process of changing micro-refined nutrients to suit whichever stage of pregnancy I am at, and those grinning pictures of mums, dads and newborns, these pre-pregnancy vitamins weren't just pre-pregnancy vitamins. They are truly seductive. Bring on the armour plated semen, and mitochondrially-reinforced ova, boosted by the seven new fruit extracts.

I am a sap. I bought them. I now have fluorescent yellow wee. Let's face it, I am a fat, almost 40 year old woman with a chronic illness. I need all the help I can get.

Mama x